How Could You Have Been?

How could you have been so alive and now you have no breath?

I felt your heart beating.
I heard your voice speaking.
I watched your eyes blinking.
How could you have been so alive and now you don’t exist?
How is it that I can hear your laugh when  the world goes still at night?
How is it that I know what it feels like to hold your hand softly in mine?
Why can I still feel water on my finger tips from wiping all your tears?
How can I see you smile at me when your face is no longer here?
So how could you have been so alive one day and then the next you just were not?
Your lungs, your heart, your brain, your mouth, your eyes, your arms, your legs all moving, working, thinking, parts now still.
Now gone.

How can someone so alive just disappear from this world?
It was a blink; a moment and then you were gone.

Here and then not.

How is it that you told me you loved me and then couldn’t speak at all?
Why is it that you could run through fields, but then your legs refused to hold up your body?

Your eyes were open, your words flowed through me, until the day they closed, until the day they stopped.

If someone could please tell me, because I don’t think I understand, how someone could be so alive before they closed their eyes but never open them again.

2 thoughts on “How Could You Have Been?

  1. My heart goes out to Lilee-Jean’s Mother and I have felt her pain through her postings. I believe suggesting that there is a god who picks and chooses to whom a miracle will go is just wrong! I know people mean well and want to give comfort, but to put out there that a god would save a 60 yr. old man over a 2 yr. old, or let one mother with small children die and another live, when all were praying for the same thing, is to insult what ever god it is that you are praying to. My daughter died from cancer 3 yrs. ago. To watch her suffer, this girl that I loved and would do anything, was paralyzing. You cant’ pray away stage 4 cancer!


  2. I believe she is now more alive then ever, with the one who gives life to all things. She has just changed her residence to heaven. Waiting until you embrace again. Cheering you on and loving you still. What a love between mother and child. It is truly beautiful.


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